Blink.

I walked by the bookshelf at the local bookstore about a year ago. I was stopped dead in my tracks by a book named "blink" by Malcolm Gladwell.

"the power of thinking without thinking"

I didn't even read the backside cover. I picked it up and for once- bought it. I've always hesitant to buy products if they are not researched or "economically priced"(frugal me). This literally jumped into my hands.

It sat on my shelf for a while. I started the first chapter and then it got placed on the sidelines as I was busy moving about and settling into life in Iceland. Fast forward a year- I am standing in the bedroom packing up my Iceland adventure and I find it on my bookshelf- GAWKING- in distaste I might add. How dare I forget this magical little publication. I put it in my carry-on due to the guilt creeping in. I really should read this as I did spend more than $4 on it. Sigh. OK. Promise made.

This morning I am searching for the book (it has shuffled to almost every flat surface in the house). Remember my inability to stay on a single task for more than 10 seconds- 15 if its a good day and that is why I STILL remained in a failed state when it came to surpassing the point of the first chapter. I have formulated an idea that if I submerge myself into the tub with have a gallon of coffee then breaking past chapter one will indeed occur. I mean- how much diversion can one experience in the tub... ... ... ... sigh.. ... ... ...ok ... ok...So upon actually dipping in I recognized forthwith that I would have to pack up the razors, loofah, bubbles, soaps, shower and anything else within reach so the task at hand would indeed be accomplished.

Ok- in I went. I recracked the seal and began my journey. Mr. Gladwell, please proceed with your findings towards my ever anxious mind.

I reread the first chapter- then the second. My jaw dropped. The third..... HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO GET CHILLS WHILE BATHING IN SCORCHING SOAKING CONDITIONS.

I was at the point where I had to stop and reflect. Jesus- I should have read this book a year ago. No, when I was 23. No- 18!!!!

*shakes head***

So what is 'blink' about?

Blink is about adaptive unconsciousness. Rebecca terms- making decisions based on the first instinct.

Gah!

So- in a round about manner- Chapter 2 discusses how a study was done by John Gottman (apparently a really smart man) who came up with a highly successful scientific study which predicted with a 95% accuracy rate whether a couple would be still married after 15 year. 95% PERCENT!!!!!

All he did- watched an interaction between husband and wife for an hour. That's it. 1 hour.  ONE!
My jaw dropped and puddles began to accumulate on the floor as I continued to read due to all the splashing about. The basis on this whole conclusion was individuals form "a distinctive signature that arises naturally and automatically. That is why a marriage can be read and decoded so easily, because some part of human activity".

I was amazed at how simple it was to predict divorce with such accuracy- well- simple if your name is John Grottman.

The next chapter discussed snap decisions. This I have experienced many, many times. Most of us have and when it happens it's a chilling moment at times. That instant when my hand went out without even a thought to catch a kid, The time when I knew a kid was in trouble from the time she presented to the judges before she even STARTS her routine and my gut said- STAND IN. Most of these snap decisions are made based on my career because that has been my concentration and expertise for over 20 years. I don't know why I react at time so quickly- but Gladwell spoke beautifully as to why my brain and body connected before I even had time to realize what was happening (perhaps this could come in handy with my driving.... ). He also goes on to illustrate that if we listen really close- our snap decisions happen far more frequently then we actually allow ourselves to experience or hear.

Thus far- my conclusion 3 chapters in- Gladwell is painting the path of the following:

Encounter + Immediate Unconscious Response= INTUITION

I then started recollecting and linking all this new info to my dating history.

The Double Decker Paramedic, the chef, the cowboy, - the list goes on. All of them. Looking back I remember times when I felt that small stab in the ribs going... "back off Rebecca... beware... something is off...."Looking back- I knew within seconds that something was erroneous. Yet- I brushed it off. Every time.
Of course- I hadn't a clue how to identify with this feeling and paid no heed to the indicators that were so blatantly dancing right in front of me. Even the physical factors that presented itself- the colds I got when I was married (I was always sick the last two years), the stomach aches leading into dates to the paramedic, the physical exhaustion in my last relationship. They were all indicators of my subconscious screaming at me to WAKE UP, SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT!!!

Anyhow- that is the first take on the introductory portion of the book. I am curious too see how one doesn't go into a hyperactive state of unconscious awareness (now I may have just confused myself) while becoming acutely enlightened with this ability we apparently all are deep-rooted with.