Song Of The Day

Watch "The Fighter (feat. Ryan Tedder) - Derek Ward, Shaun Reynolds, Jess Moskaluke, Jon D. & Jono" on YouTube

Big Day.

It's show time baby!!!

Time to bring on the sparkle and turn up the heat.

Weird, Wonderful and Wacky Things

WHY DATING F*ING SUCKS

No really. Totally does. It's like going to Old Navy and trying to find the size small cardigan on boxing day AFTERNOON and all you can find is an extra large purple and yellow piece that would look fabulous on the cover of a Nancy Drew novel . You have all these requirement for this perfect cardigan but for some reason it's hidden in a pile somewhere over in the change rooms at the bottom of the recover pile and the effort to actually find it makes you question exactly how valuable your time is.

UGH!!!!!

First of all, if you are going to use a dating site, you need to make sure that you write a kick-ass profile and take a photo that looks half way decent. There is certain criteria for this photo. It mustn't be a "mirrored"photo (you know the type, stand in front of the mirror, hold up the phone, and click. Repeat because you need to turn your head to the left.the right side was NFG. CLICK. Repeat. You blinked. CLICK. Repeat- your bedroom needs to be cleaned-you just can't have a messy room in the back round (often, this gets missed)....repeat. Repeat, REPEAT....when will you realize it is NOT socially acceptable to take a photo of yourself taking a photo in the mirror???

Word of advice: use the timer in your photographic device and prop it up (light bulb!). Your photo shouldn't have the typical hand gestures (peace,gangnam style,middle signage).You have to look pretty freaking incredible so preparing for the photo takes effort. I am not speaking of throwing your hair up in a ponytail, putting on a Lululemon headband and snap,snap,snap....ohhhhhhhhhhhh no. You have to do the whole shower, blow-dry, curl/straighten, make up, etc...so much effort but come on- you do want to look presentable because first impressions are just that. Like it or not, it's the make it or break it to a first date.

Questionnaires:
Most of these sites have questionnaires that take a full day to fill out. No, I don't lie to make my partner feel good about himself. Yes, I like myself. No, I don't rely on others for my happiness. No, I don't often get angry with how others treat me (really, wtf?!). Yes, I do enjoy a stroll on the beach with my imaginary Emu named Harrison (I had to throw that in because, well, you need to understand the ridiculousness of some of it all.)

Anyhow, your profile gets finished (yes, I'm really 30, yes I really have 3 kids, no, I'm not happily married (who the hell answers this with a YES?!?!?!?!).

Next step.
Go viral.
Hit ENTER.

The next thing you know you have 30 messages from a vast majority of men who are 50+, the top of their heads resemble that of a monkeys ass, and have a profile photo that may or may not date back to 1982, a current photo of them with their "ex-wife" on a carnival cruise sipping fuzzy navels wearing a sports jacket possibly from 1965. Oh, and don't forget the '70 Oldsmobile Cutlass. Sexy. Sexy as hell. Yes, that screams take me out.

Next come the opening lines. Opening lines that result in direct failure (with the exception of having a kick ass profile picture- where in which you just still may not have a chance).

"Hi"
"Hey beautiful"
"What are you up to tonight?"
"Yo" (yes, actually)
"Hey baby, let me rock your world"
"Can I have your number"
"Wanna chat?"

Swearing is a great way to grab someone's attention (if you want me to press the block button faster). Asking if I have "big ones" just may actually place you on the "this guy is a complete moron" list and could really get you in the security teams project for removal. The best is jumping into the questions on whether or not
Honestly? You actually thinks this grabs a girls attention? Here is the kicker for you gentlemen seeking a woman through online dating.....
Read her profile. Find a connection. Ask question relating to profile. DONT BE AN ASSHOLE.

When you start chatting, realize that the person you are conversing with might be a total fraud (Catfish?!). This happens a lot in online dating. Don't get your hopes up that the French neurosurgeon Franscoi Legrand from Beverly Hills will whisk you away his insert choice of fantasy car here someday. Chances are his name is Lester Krueger from Neopit, Wisconsin, who is unemployed and possibly has printed off your profile photo and replaced it with the heads of all the girls in the most recent version of Hustler magazine. Yes. This could be your dream guy. So, be careful.

Anyhow, after all of this if you do happen to land a first date -let's talk about the rules. Yes, the dating rules.
Patty Stanger has some
Really good ones. To sum it up:
- don't be a whore (word if advice- keep the basement UNKEPT ;)
- don't get drunk on the first date
- keep your mouth shut about your Exs
- cross your freaking legs when sitting on a stool and wearing a skirt
- put your phone AWAY (unless needing an escape)
- smile, be pleasant and don't leave your manners at home ( so be sure to not burp, swear and don't take a laxative within 48 hours)

So, follow the rules. They are there for a reason. Assuming you want a second date you may want to take into consideration that presenting yourself in a manner that screams "lets have a repeat" not "delete,delete,delete"....

Now. Go forth and.....

Rebecca's List of Non-Negotiables

My friend Tanis and I  were recently talking about how she met her "person". I asked her if she had a "list". She said she did.

I started thinking. There is always a "list" and I could go off on a rant about the "47 and a half" things that I look for in a person. However, at the end of the day- most of these things are not incontrovertible. We slowly make acceptances and bend the rules because after all- no one is truly perfect.

My past relationships were amazing learning experiences. I know I deserve nothing but the best person for me and vice versa. Everyone deserves pure happiness and with that being said- another person doesn't make you happy- they just contribute. So, I am essentially looking for someone to contribute further to my happiness.

Ok, so, after much thought, here we go.

The list of Non-Negotiables :

1. Trust and honesty and respectfulness
2. Compromise. Must have the ability to actually do this ( I am forever working on this- h
3. Must be a generally happy person without the assistance of medication.
4. Must be able to laugh with me, at me, at others and yourself.
5. Must understand my situation is what it is, things will not be changing when it comes to my kids and the relationship they and  I hold with their father
6. There must be CHEMISTRY...C.H.E.M.I.S.T.Y.
7. Be able to LISTEN! No, really LISTEN.


http://youtu.be/ruyaKdPfTN4

Life's full of Randomness

So many opportunities pass us by- we blink and miss them altogether. I certainly am trying not to let this happen.

Actions speak louder

There's a few things I learned this week:

Number 1: you are in control of nothing but yourself. You can only control, you.

Number 2: apples and cucumbers are 2 totally different fruits.

Number 3: Trust. At the beginning of any relationship this is the hardest thing to build.  Perhaps I trust too easily. But then again, life is so short so you have to take chances.

For me 2013 is about taking chances, trusting people, and rebuilding.

Cheers

To Be and Not To Be...Annoying

Things that annoy me today:

1.The fat lady in the chair getting a "chair massage". Her whole body giggles and she looks like an after school Twinkie waiting to bust.
2.The Tim Hortons and the fact it has no yogurt and berries, or raisin bran muffins which I would be able to pick out all the raisins leaving behind the rest of the muffin. However, that is not the case in Regina.
3. The fact that I'm leaving my family and close friends behind me
4. The sketchy paint job done by the maintenance people in the Regina airport
5. The fact that I got patted down by a female security personal
6. My ring tone.."waaaaaalllllllllllll-eeeeeeeeeeeeee"
7. My boots- poor choice in traveling shoes
8. My inability to sleep well in a vertical position
9. The fact that I could not figure out how to recline my seat from Toronto to Regina - which was the longest lag
10. The fact that pissing mid-flight is a challenge for men. Worse is their inability to actually wipe the floor, wall and toilet off AFTER DONG THIS
11. The hug I DIDN'T GET today.or yesterday. Or the day before.
12. The fact that I tried to walk through security twice with a freshly bought latte in hand, then resulting in a burned tongue, pallet and esophagus. And perhaps trachea as well because I almost breathed it in.


Things that are not annoying me today

1. Skype
2. Internet connections
3. Thai express and the extra tofu I received
4. My ability to actually find a diamond in a rough
5. The fact that I watched and giggled out loud a few times during the movie "This Means War"
6. Meeting new friends
7. Making connections
8. Having one of my closest friends send me a kick ass email
9. My ability to "keep calm and google" (phrase of the day)
10. I'm going to see my kids tonight!!!!!
11. The text messages I received today
12. The mere thought of my pillow meeting my head tonight

Repeat, Repeat

A perfect kiss?
Do they exist?
Yup. They sure do.
I've experienced it. A while ago.

Honestly, I didn't know it was going to turn my world upside down but it did. I knew the moments our lips touched the kiss was going to be pretty amazing but earth shattering, leave me breathless, heart pounding through my chest kinda of kiss??? That was stuff I read in novels and no, I'm not speaking of 50 Shades EVEN though I will openly admit to have reading it.

The time and place is irrelevant. It's the connection you have and feel with the other person. It's the electricity exchanged when you come millimetres away from brushing your lips with theirs. It jumps at you. Like a magnet. Pulling you into them. The worst part of a perfect kiss?
Sigh....the dissolution.

Am I asking too much for this to be an everyday occurrence.

Then again, maybe I'm living in a dream?

2013 Bucket List

1- To connect more with the ones I love.
2- To find my places
3- get rid of the house and move
4- Do more photography. I'm good at it. I need to embrace it more.
5- Start a photo book for 2013 ( goal is twice a week)- capture moments that tell a story. i want to evoke feelings and I want people to be able to connect.
6-to feel the sand between my toes of the pacific and Atlantic.
7- nationals ...they are in Ottawa ...to bad not in june the we could drive to camp
8- quit herb
9- find my ex a new gf
10- attend congress
11- teach my children how to skate backwards seeing as I cannot do this myself, this is going to be hilarious )
12- bring the kids to Disney
13- get rid of this damn fear of singing in public
14- do hot yoga, work out more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
15-enroll in another ball room class