The world of expectations as Ive seen it... a time warp of sorts...a kick in the ass. Shall we go back?
In my teens- I was ruler of my own world. I was afraid of little and I was indestructible. I knew EVERYTHING (or so I thought). My parents - apparently they were complete idiots and they knew nothing about life because I had it all figured out 🤦♀️. From what I wanted to be when 'I grew up' (which of course was only a few years away;) to the perfect life I would live with the giant house and have a successful husband who would make all the money while I dove into my dream of becoming an Olympic Coach and galavanted around the planet chasing my dream. Rrrrrrrriiight.
The 20s- I was living in a race against conformity. I was going to end up on the top of the pyramid. I would have the best of 'everything' -at that period that defined success. I drowned myself in work. I eventually settled into that huge house and had 3 cars and 3 amazing children. From a consumers point of view- I was successfully rich…. in debt. I bought into the greatest scam of all- the 'American Dream'....I….Was….Miserable. My saving grace- My 3 incredible children who kept my sanity at bay.
The tipping point- the 30s. I hear this is the challenging decade. And thus far it has proven itself correct. Life’s had many ups and downs and when your down sometimes you get a slap you in the face with a bucket of cold water saying 'hey.. wake up asshole- this is how it is...'
So how is it exactly?
You realize your values and morals have been heavily influenced by.... bull shit.
That’s right.
It seems to be that the older you become you realize you knew NOTHING-so-you start to listen and learn. I will be the first to admit I was in complete denial in my earlier stages of growth. I was in a delusional puzzle that would never be solved because the life I was chasing was all unrealistic and truly unfulfiling.
The constant expectation of a perfect life. The life everyone feels they thould be entitled to. The life that you see on the big screen. Hollywood.... thanks for that. In a way we are still all diving into a 1950's print of Goodhouse Keeping magazine with our ice teas and aprons glancing through our 30 different boards on pinterest (I mean- really- it’s no different than when our grandmothers cut out the recipe from the discard pile at the local coffee shops and shived them into the cardstock holder). We all want to get married, have kids and fall in love and live a life where there is only peace and harmony. But hell- Reality is- it's fucking work and it doesn’t stop there after you get all that. People are not perfect. We screw up. Lots. So the harsh real view of this is- how can we expect this perfect life when we ourselves fail at... perfection.
I know one thing we can all be better at though and perhaps could aid in this adopted perception that been developed within our lives…. forgiveness.
When two individuals come together and share a mutual love and respect for each other the ability to forgive each others differences and hiccups along the way is a far easier task. You also lose the self- entitlement you think you deserve. Instead- you focus on the relationship. Fill your partners love tank and do not expect a damn thing in return. Remember- the right person for you will share the responsibilities in a relationship. You have to have the desire to ensure that your partners needs are met as well as your own. It’s a harmonious dance where in which both partners are listening, feeling and are aware of the steps they themselves are taking but also listening to the steps of their partners so when they take a dip, they both can rise up together again and continue forward….
R
