Blogger Break

I have thought about what to write for quite a while now. I got nothing. Im not about to spill my deepest thoughts out- certainly not now - those who need to here them have heard them. I could talk about the gym or my life- but I think I have done that enough. I think as of now I am on a blogger break for a bit- at least for a week.

Running from Smelly Runners

I was in Lethbridge over the weekend for the Moonlight run. I didn’t run. I held the door for about 1500 people. I found it quite funny out of all those people- I counted- I got 12 thank you’s! Only 12. People these days lack manners. Anyways, I am glad I didn’t run. 2 reasons. The damn hill was over 1.5 km long and you had to run down and up. I would have either skidded my lip going down or tried to piggy back all of the runners on the way up. And the other reason was because I wouldn’t have been able to move at all the next day. I did however get some shopping done. I also got to jot down some potential apartments as well seeing as I am 8 chances out of 10 going to be living there next year ( I am still not 100% though- so no taking my word yet!). Anyways, it was a interesting weekend to say the least. The best part I think was seeing the small group under the "Unemployment Building" sharing a bottle of cheap beer. A pet peeve I have of the city is that not one intersection seems to have light sensors so you are sitting at the set of lights at 1 in the AM waiting for it to change. You can't run through because right in front of you sits a police station. That was fun. It's a alright city I guess. I think I may be displaying some prejudice because it's not Medicine Hat aka Home. It does have a fun mall though and a cosco - so I was stoked about that (Im such a consumer in that aspect). Anyways, I am heading down there again at the beginning of April so maybe this time I will be able to check out the Campus.

Outward and Forward

Literally, I am a walking contradiction. I do it all the time. In my writing. In my own thoughts. Logical conversation. But I know what I want and I know what I am trying to say- usually. Lately though things have been a jumbled mess. In a sense- I almost need to go on a hiatus. I have been negligent in a lot of things lately and I finally realize that I need to straighted things out once again. So, I will start.

#1- I need to be more attentive to my loved ones- whether it be paying more attention to them or their little hints or perhaps giving space when needed
#2 - I need to stop procrastinating so damn much and do what needs to be done
#3- I seriously need to chill - I have been on this over-reactive rampage lately and for those of you whom already know this- I apologize - I realize this now and I wouldn't blame anyone but myself if any consequences where to be projected on me
#4- I need to stop caring what others think of me and just "BE"- to hell with all these social mores - I quit!
#5- I need to take a closer look at what I really need and want and whats best for me and my situation

All of these yes are very abstract, some not so much, perhaps it is truly a time needed for reflection. I have been doing that a lot lately. Questioning things, not really understanding some things, wonderning what real purpose there is in some of the things I am doing....
I need a vacation. Yes.

Decisions, Decisions

So, Im still in limbo about where I want to be come September. Part of me wants Lethbridge but another part is leaning toward Massachusetts. I have no clue. I have sat and pondered the thought for months now. So, I decided that I’m going to make a chart.

LETHBRIDGE....... MASSACHUSETTS
School................School
Friends...............Family
Job.....................Ocean? (lol, that’s a plus)
Less consulate... Away from hassels
problems
No car imports

NEGATIVES
No family............No friends
No ocean............Consulate problems
Wind...................Ghetto neighborhood
Moving................Moving
.......................... No job
I’d prob never come back if I went............

I could probaly think of more... I just dont want to at the moment... It give me a headache......

Definition from a womans point of view

I dont understand how society came about doing this - but it has managed to give one word like 8 different meanings. Im talking in reference to love. I suppose you have to consider the source it is coming from. When a woman is asked to determine what love is - we spout of various meanings and values that it holds. Men, on the other hand - run. That's right. You mention the word and the leave in a flash. What is it that they percieve the word to be? Why- or how have men come to the conclusion that love is a scary thing. Well, I think it's all in how they percieve it. For instance, women often see love in two lights (my own opinion really). The first is the act of feeling love. The second is being "in love". Feeling love is less complicated than being in love is. Loving someone can simply mean caring, wondering, worrying, having that warm sensation when you are around them, respecting them, telling them what they may need to hear even if they don't want to hear it, trust, never doing anything that would hurt the other person, consideration, etc, etc- the list goes on. But being in love- that is what I think men are afraid of. Being in love means commitment. It means that- hey- you are right for me. Being in love is much more complex. Men hate complex details. This is why they run. They need to realize that love comes in many forms from a female perspective and that perhaps looking at what level of love their partner is at - perhaps that 4 letter word is not so scary.
(for you Lana)

So , I am this kind of dating material eh???

I'm still cracking up over this - but I do see a little truth in it

If you are dating a taurus, understand that this person is a one-woman man or a one-man woman (unless Gemini predominates elsewhere in the natal chart). Primarily interested in security, this being is looking to settle down and doesn't need a lot of movement. Preferring routine activities and traditional, established pleasures, this person is happy to continue on with whatever he or she has been doing for years. You will need to be able to fit somewhat into this already settled routine.

You will attract his or her attention by giving gifts of quality; ticky-tacky is a turnoff for these practical souls. Known for their good taste, you will be more interesting to this being if you value yourself. Paying attention to your clothing and hair will help to show him or her that you understand the importance of appearance. Taureans love to stay home and get cozy in their nests. Their idea of a good time is to rent a bunch of videos and veg out on the couch or in the easy chair. They also enjoy gourmet foods and fine wines and will often have highly developed culinary abilities. These souls can definitely be won over through their stomachs, so dig up your best recipes and give it a try. They do, however, sometimes resemble their animal, the bull, in that they cannot be pushed; you will see some real digging in if you try. Gentle persuasion is a much better tool with these people. You also should be aware that, in general, they often need to ponder each word that you speak before being able to give you an answer. Allowing these souls a moment to think before expecting a response will result in a much happier relationship.

Taureans also have a real need for security; you won't make points by squandering assets or avoiding saving. These beings need to have a home base which belongs to them and where they know they can retreat to in times of trouble. A nest egg for rainy days is also an essential here.

.... Officially, the worlds longest blog entry...

-first grade teacher's name: am i supposed to remember that?
-last word you said: hahaha
-last song you sang: True - ryan cabrera
-last thing you laughed at: um, trevor calling himself a re-re
-last time you cried: Girls cry?... lol.... today
.PRESENT.
-what's in your cd player: I dont use one - but if i did - a mixed Cd
-what color socks are you wearing: I'm not wearing socks
-what's under your bed: um, a broke part of my bed, prob some toys and some books from last semester maybe -and perhaps the last man that pissed me off... lol IM JK!
-what time did you wake up today: um, like 7:30, no 8, i cant remember
.FUTURE.
-what is your career going to be: A gymnastics coach, a psychologist...
-where are you going to live: um by the looks of things, lethbridge...but long term - i have no clue
-what kind of car will you drive: Lol, anything that is fun, reliable and doesnt emitt harmful gases into our biosphere!
.CURRENT.
-current hair: medium, fluffy, reddish brown
-current clothes: My underwear
-current jewelry: silver hoop earrings, my R initial
-current annoyance: work, school
-current smell: mmm... *sniffs*... cool water and echo by Daridoff - the usuall
-current longing: sleep and a vacation, and my BF
-current desktop picture:it changes every 5 minutes, the Mac versions
-current favorite music artist: I don't even know. I can't pick one.
-current book: The gift of Fear
-current worry: school, and future events
-current hate: my inablity to concentrate today (which is often)
-current favorite article of clothing: La Senza bra, cami and my laces and a cami
-line from the last thing you wrote to someone: um, bye bye
-i am happiest when: everything falls into place and ppl are actually on the same page as I - and - when I have no worries...
-favorite authors: I don't know, I'm undecided. maybe the dude who wrote mars and venus
-do you think too much: Yeah, I over think things. I think it is a problem sometimes cause I over analyze and throw things out of proportion
-if you could live anywhere in the world, where: Um, anywhere hot and cool at the same time with a thermostat control and of course by a beach and some mountains... lol
-famous person you have met: um, svetlana boginskya, Yelena Zamalichikova (spelling?), Kylie Stone?, Kyle Shewfelt?, all gymnasts
-sex or love: mmm.. thats a tough one...cant it be both?... even though both is sometimes not possible
-favorite coffee: black with some sugar containing aspertane
-favorite smell: the ones i can smell right now, and chlorine (i know, its weird)
-Annoyance: dishonesty, not being upfront epspecially when i know they are not... that really gets my panties in a twist
-what is your best quality: I have no idea-- I guess that I'm overly honest, I always give ppl the benifit of the doubt even when I know maybe I shouldn't, I can be very understanding
-are in currently in love/lust: there are many levels of love... and yes
-what's the craziest thing you have ever done: oh gosh, i gotta think
-any bad habits: f*ing with my cuticles to the point where they bleed... not wearing socks.. biting my nails and ranting on when Im drunk
-do you find it hard to trust people: No, I'm too trusting most of the time.
-last thing you bought yourself: gas, phone, food
-bath or shower: Both - depends really
-favorite season:June - I like that month and september cause its beautiful
-favorite color: grey blue, purple, soft pink, ... i dont know... there's too many to choose from
-favorite time of day: that moment just before you close your eyes
-gold or silver: titamium and Platinum
-any secret crushes: yes (but he knows im crazy about him)
.FASHION.
-how many coats and jackets do you own: Like, eight?
-favorite pants color: jeans
-most expensive item of clothing: A dress I bought (actually a few)
-most treasured: My r initial and a sea shell
.YOUR FRIENDS.
-do your friends know you: Very few of my friends really -know- me, although I appear to be very transperent.
-what do they tend to be like: Fun, outgoing, trustworthy for the most part
-can you count on them: some of them
-can they count on you: yes, of course, thats what makes us friends isnt it?
.LAST.
-last book you read: mars and venus dating
-last movie you saw: Seabiscuit
-last movie you saw on the big screen: hitch
-last show you watched on tv: um, lol.. american Idol?
-last song you heard: lol.. now, its don't by Shania Twain
-last thing you had to drink: H2O
-last thing you ate: Eggs this afternoon
-last time you showered: 5 minutes ago
-last time you smiled: today
-last time you laughed: this afternoon, when being tickled
-last person you hugged: this afternoon, a truly great hug,... I think its time for one of those
-last person you kissed: Mike
-last person you talked to online: John
-last person you talked to on the phone: mom
.DO YOU.
-smoke: no
-do drugs: no
-drink: sometimes
-sleep with stuffed animals: as much as I hate to admit it, occasionally, yes.
-have a dream that keeps coming back: a couple
-play an instrument: piano...I used to play sax ( can you picture that?) and I used to play the violin for like 2 years
-believe there is life on other planets: maybe - sure- why not?
-read the newspaper: If I get it for free - somtimes online
-have any gay or lesbian friends: yes and siblings too
-believe in miracles: sure
-consider yourself tolerant: I put up with a lot of shit sometimes
-consider police a friend or foe: I've never had a problem with the police - until - they gave me a ticket
-like the taste of alchohol: if I am drunk heck yes!
-have a favorite stooge: curly
-believe in astrology: not so much - but I will read my horoscope once in a while
-believe in magic: sure
-pray: not really... maybe
-go to church: no
-have any secrets: plenty
-have any pets: Kosmo my fish
-go or plan to attened college: I am attending and will be prob attending U of L next year
-talk to strangers: to often, and usually they initate conversation.
-have any piercings: just the ears, I used to have the belly done
-have any tattoos: I will before this year ends. I swear it.
-hate yourself: I like me.
-wish on stars: Sometimes I do
-like your handwriting: not really, it's readable, but not fantastic
-believe in witches: nah
-believe in ghosts: yes - I swear I had one in my room last week - ask me about it - scared the shit outta me
-believe in santa: lol, are you fucking kidding me?.. oops... did I just violate my own belief?
-believe in the easter bunny: get out of here, what am I, seven?
-believe in the tooth fairy: His name is Doctor Kirshaw, and he took my teeth AND my money.
-have a second family: I don't know if I'd call them family, but they're a part of me, sure.
-trust others easily: I'm too trusting, you asked this already
-sing in the shower: Yes, and I like it and my neighbors can't stand it..


Layers.... I dont know.. I just cut and pasted the damn thing.--
Name: Becca
-- Birthdate: April 30, 1982
-- Birthplace: Medicine Hat
-- Current Location: Same place
-- Eye Color: blue-grey
-- Hair Color: Auburn
-- Height: 5'6 and a bit
-- Righty or Lefty: righty yet try to be a lefty
LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: lol.. wow... ok, here goes dutch, german, french, I know there is more... its rediculous i cant remember
-- Your weakness: too trusting at points, I fall to easy (seriously- i have the balance of a 2 year old when not on a 4 inch plank)
-- Your fears: being too far away from shore to swim back, lol... no... i dunno, big bugs, bees, wind (tornados), men are scary sometimes, falling for someone who wont fall for you maybe
-- Your perfect pizza: Oh how i hate atkins at this point... veg with cheese and cheese, pepper, tomato, mushroom, pinapple
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Awsome coach, great mom, lol.. a degree eventually, live happily ever after with prince charming
LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase(s) on MSN: Lol and ack, WTF,noooooo, we're fighting!
-- Your thoughts first waking up: snooze button??? and what i have to do that day
-- Your best physical feature: um, I dunno, eyes maybe? i like to think my butts in the ok field.. you tell me?
-- Your bedtime: now (snore)... lol.. whenever I permit
-- Your most missed memory: that’s a stupid question. Think about that.
LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: Coke...?
--Macdonalds or BK: um, subway
-- Single or group dates: um , i like both... but a little personal quality time is always nice
-- Adidas or Nike: neither - im too cheap
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don’t drink either. crystal lite
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla with a lil choc
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee
LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: no
-- Cuss: I hate too - its not ladylike but sometimes madatory
-- Sing: yes - when no one can hear me
-- Take a shower every day: Yes
-- Have a crush(es): Yes
-- Do you think you've been in love: Oh yes. I don’t think there has been a point in my post-12 year old life when I wasn’t convinced I loved someone.... lol.. but honestly in love? well.. thats a tough one... i almost married someone - until I reevaluated the situation... so now i have confused me cause there are too many definitions of love
-- Want to go to college: Been there, am there, leaving soon to upgrade
-- Like high school: hated it
-- Want to get married: one day, provided I learn the fine art of comprimise and find that right person
-- Believe in yourself: Sure!
-- Get motion sickness: when you spin me very fast
-- Think you're attractive: Sure - sometimes- when im not hungover and tired
-- Think you're a health freak: maybe too much... i think i am
-- Get along with your parents: occasionally
-- Like thunderstorms: yeah, when its not windy and when there is someone to jump onto if I get scared
LAYER SIX:
In the past month . . .
-- Drank alcohol: yes
-- Smoked: no
-- Had sex: yes
-- Made out:yes
-- Gone on a date: yes
-- Gone to the mall: yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: god no!
-- Eaten sushi: Ew
-- Been on stage: yes
-- Been dumped: no
-- Gone skating: no... which sucks. I wanna go ice skating!
-- Shoplifted: never
-- Changed who you were to fit in: no
LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: um... that’s not really an age to plan for.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: lol.. well.. right now Im content with one... maybe later... i dunno...
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: go away and do it on a vacation ( that being married and other activities of course)
-- How do you want to die: what kind of f*ing question is that!!!!
-- Where you want to go to college: we have been through this...
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: grow up?... i shall never!
-- What country would you most like to re/visit: irland would be cool, egypt would be dirty but fun, and somewhere in S.america would be fun
LAYER NINE:
In a guy . . .
-- Best eye color: blue, hazel
-- Best hair color: unimportant
-- Short or long hair: long enough for me to run fingers through
-- Height: not important.. perhaps taller than i?
-- Best weight: not ginormous
-- Best articles of clothing: the ones they’re not wearing (he he!)... lol.. Im jk!
-- Best first date location: something fun where both can relax and not worry
-- Best first kiss location: mmm.. tough call.. mouth? neck?, cheek is sweet
LAYER TEN:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: no thanks=0
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: 1 - no 2
-- Number of CDs that I own: a bajillion
-- Number of piercings: 2
-- Number of tattoos: 0
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: quite a few
-- Number of scars on my body: Gross! I’m not counting my scars!
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: 3-- no no... four. then there are the little things that are unimportant, or forgiven.

A - Act your age - That only depends on what you think a 23 year old should act like.

B – Boyfriend- yes

C - Chore you hate - If it's a chore, I hate it. Trust me.

D - Dad's name - Jan

E - Essential makeup item - Mascara, lip gloss

F - Favorite actress - Toss-up: I dont care as long as its a good job acting

G - Greatest Achievement- Emma, gymnastics, life

H – Hometown -Medicine hat

I - Instruments you play - piano... again..

J - Job title - gymnastics coach

K – Kids - one!!

L - Living arrangements -With emma , and whom ever stays over on the weekends

M - Mom's name - Marguerite

N - Number of people you've slept with - I shall not disclose... SHEESH.. get peronal why dont you

O - Overnight hospital stays - 2 - tonsils and emma

P – Phobia - Spiders, bees

Q - Quote you like - "Everything in life is either done because of love, or the lack there of." , and "We're fighting!"

R - Religious affiliation - None

S – Siblings - too many

T - Time you wake up - The alarm goes off at six.....

U - Unique habit: oh I have a bad brushing teeth habit, I always have my phone, i never leave the house without chapstick or lip balm, i always check my email way to frequently, and I leave the laundry basket in the laundry room

V - Vegetable you refuse to eat - Okra

W - Worst habit- Giving too much of a shit what other people think

X - X-rays you've had -mouth(teeth), ankle like a zillion times, hand, shoulder, a bone scan once

Y - Yummy food you make - Everything except cookies from scratch. I used to be able to make chocolate chip cookies in my sleep, but I haven't baked anything from scratch in such a long time that I've forgotten the recipie.

Z - Zodiac Sign - taurus

This should be interesting.....Im curious... please enlighten me... lol.. you guys know my email...
1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I lovable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your blog/diary and see what I say about you?