Monday, July 06, 2015
Oh the Many Reasons
I need to rant.
I need to understand things a bit better because apparently over the past 3 years I just don't get it.
I have dated. I have fallen in Love- twice. I even moved in with someone. And recollecting all the memories-these men were never relationship ready. Never ready to commit and take the next step. Never.... Ready.... period.
I am very confused by this concept and I will expand on this.
First- you go through the troubles of "putting yourself out there" in the dating world. You throw yourself into this group of individuals from all walks of life and after sorting through the profiles you find that there are slim pickings for the standards you have set.... soon you find yourself telling your pals "there is no one out there..."
But wait- WAIT! You meet someone. It could be through the dating site, at the grocery store, the neighborhood party, etc, etc. You start to get to know them. Your butterflies get going and the first few visits are magical. You start to get to know this other person and you start to share your inner most thoughts and start trusting this person. Your heart starts saying... maybe.. just maybe.....
Let's stop there...
I have encountered this "maybe, just maybe" feeling a few times now. I have dated some supposed great men only to realize this isn't the case. I have dated someone who amazingly led two lives, someone who always dangled the carrot of a possible relationship only to yank it out, someone who professed his love then started seeking out his options the next day, etc. etc. etc. I could go on.
It leaves me and my sometimes self deprecating self to ponder. Yes, there are times when I wonder... what the hell is wrong with me? Am I just not good enough?
This goes on for about 20 seconds before I stop myself and remember a recent article I read about how we lack the ability to feel satisfaction anymore. How we are always are attempting to seek out something superior than what we have. The "grass is always greener" theory. With that... comes this....
So... furthering to this theory of grass being greener.... those individuals who searched for that greener grass.... WAS IT GREENER??? That's my question now. Are you happier? Did you end up finding that far superior "model" of perfection you were searching for. Did the person you find check all your boxes, fulfill all your requirements?
I am truly curious to see if these individuals did succeed. If so- I am so glad you didn't settle. If not. Well- shrugs. Not my problem anymore because this grass has a fence.
I need to understand things a bit better because apparently over the past 3 years I just don't get it.
I have dated. I have fallen in Love- twice. I even moved in with someone. And recollecting all the memories-these men were never relationship ready. Never ready to commit and take the next step. Never.... Ready.... period.
I am very confused by this concept and I will expand on this.
First- you go through the troubles of "putting yourself out there" in the dating world. You throw yourself into this group of individuals from all walks of life and after sorting through the profiles you find that there are slim pickings for the standards you have set.... soon you find yourself telling your pals "there is no one out there..."
But wait- WAIT! You meet someone. It could be through the dating site, at the grocery store, the neighborhood party, etc, etc. You start to get to know them. Your butterflies get going and the first few visits are magical. You start to get to know this other person and you start to share your inner most thoughts and start trusting this person. Your heart starts saying... maybe.. just maybe.....
Let's stop there...
I have encountered this "maybe, just maybe" feeling a few times now. I have dated some supposed great men only to realize this isn't the case. I have dated someone who amazingly led two lives, someone who always dangled the carrot of a possible relationship only to yank it out, someone who professed his love then started seeking out his options the next day, etc. etc. etc. I could go on.
It leaves me and my sometimes self deprecating self to ponder. Yes, there are times when I wonder... what the hell is wrong with me? Am I just not good enough?
This goes on for about 20 seconds before I stop myself and remember a recent article I read about how we lack the ability to feel satisfaction anymore. How we are always are attempting to seek out something superior than what we have. The "grass is always greener" theory. With that... comes this....
So... furthering to this theory of grass being greener.... those individuals who searched for that greener grass.... WAS IT GREENER??? That's my question now. Are you happier? Did you end up finding that far superior "model" of perfection you were searching for. Did the person you find check all your boxes, fulfill all your requirements?
I am truly curious to see if these individuals did succeed. If so- I am so glad you didn't settle. If not. Well- shrugs. Not my problem anymore because this grass has a fence.
Wednesday, July 01, 2015
Its a choice
I simply have to look forward to the future and see how bright it is. Looking back is not an option as this is not the direction I am going.
I was reminded of that tonight and am so incredibly thankful for the perception I have adopted.
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