Being vulnerable sucks. Its scary. What is even more so is when others know how emotionally available you are and that in itself can be a daunting situation (for example- you dont know just what that other person will do or how they will respond to your vulnerability).
Im at a point in life where I recognize that when things become excessively fearful I run for the hills. If I come to a crossroads where there is a possibility of getting hurt I will often hurt myself and cut ties with the scenario to guard myself.
I'm learning that breathing is the first step to managing this little issue of mine... then perhaps wine. Lots of wine...
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