I recently had a conversation with a friend about being the driver in my own car. The funny thing about this- if you've ever driven with me... You are the one who ends up driving. I hate driving. I like to sit back and enjoy the view. Watch everything. Talk. Fidget. Play with the heat and music selections. Sleep. Driving for me takes focus and concentration and often my ever busy mind just wants to wonder (Vascilando!). Driving causes me to stay on track and not go off the road.
Right now...I need to start driving. Taking control and making the decision where to go. Without distractions.
I need my passengers to be my suggestive guide. In a positive manner. To help take my stress away. To give advice and expect me to make informed and rational decisions how I see is best fit. To help me see that rainbow at the end of this storm.
Right now- I need friends. Friends who can keep my confidence. Balanced friends who don't get angry everytime I have an opinion. Friends who listen.
What I dont need is a romantic relationship. My heart is too far damaged to even think about romance and Im far too tired for fights anymore.
As much as I just want to hide under a rock until this storm passes... This storm will not leave until I lead it elsewhere.
There are some MASSIVE DECISIONS to be made. Decisions that affect everyone and anyone. Decisions that will cause a butterfly effect so huge....
I have my keys...
1....2....3....
Now where the hell is the ignition again?
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