Twas the night before christmas and all through the house,
Everyone felt shitty, even the mouse
With mom in her war fare and dad smoking grass,
I settled down nicely on my big fat ass.
And up on the roof, I heard such a clatter
I sprung from my peice, to see what was the matter
Out on the lawn, I saw a huge dick
I knew at that moment, it must be Saint Nick
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew at that moment, the Fucker had fell.
He filled up our stockings with pretzels and beer
and one big rubber dick for my brother the queer
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart
The son of a bitch blew the chimney apart!
He laughed and we cried as he flew out of sight,
Piss on you all and have on hell of a night.
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