Thank You October

WOW! I cannot believe October is almost gone. I have to admit- this was a challenging month. With the Opera consuming most of my evenings, the Heart Gallery eating up most mornings and then on top of that training there has been little down time. I have done a tremendous amount of growing however.

 

The opera was my saving grace even if the schedule was insane. I made many new friends and I am playing a new role that really allows to express myself and let go. At dress rehearsal last night I had the pleasure of really connecting with the music- it was very cathartic in a way. I am so looking forward to the next 3 performances and really diving in.

 

The heart foundation is another story. The kids were amazing. Heart breaking however. I wanted to take most of those kids home. Each child had a story to tell. Each child has so many obstacles they have to over come and my hope is that those obstacles will be lessened with a permanent placement. I hope that I can at least have some part in that with the photos I took. My wish is that some how a family will see if only one of these children and make a better life for them.

 

Relationships- I have done almost a complete month of 'just rediscovering me'. I didn't realize just how much that was needed. I learned A LOT.

I have recognized just how little value I was placing on myself and what I deserve. That sounds horrible. I know I put up with too much bullshit in the past. Trusted too easily. Trust is something that is earned- not a free pass to anyone who wishes to have it.  I also now realize that protecting my heart is essential. I fell to hard, to fast, to quickly. This doesn't mean I have constructed my own version of the great wall around it- I just don't let any and everyone play with it anymore. I believe the correct term would be- BOUNDARIES. Yes- there are more clear and defined boundaries now.  

 

I also got a reminder. A reminder that life is far too short. It passes by too quickly at a rate that no one can change. There is no knowing when it will end. When your time is essentially- over. I watch a family agonize and mourn over a brother, a son, a father, a husband, a man that left this lifetime too early. I hear the pain and its heart breaking. There is no time stamp- no clock to count down to. One can only savor the moments and appreciate each breathe there is to take. That being said- I have made a conscious effort to live more with an increased appreciation. To soak up those special moments and dive into the opportunities as they come with less reservation (of course- with the proper boundaries in place because god only knows- life is too short also to waste time as well!). To reach harder for those goals. To not fear the chance of failure or success because - well, it happens.

 

Time for me to finish off this month with a Bang.

 

NOW- Go buy your damned Opera tickets. And don't forget to bring in a few small bottles of Gin. Or vodka. Or whatever the hell is your preference.

 

Till next time.

 

XOXOX