How to:

Dating Advice from my Best Friend:

So, I recently got this from my best friend- he is trying to help me out in the dating world and I had such a great laugh I thought I'd share:

How to "Land a Guy"

- Hang out in bookstores under the classic literature section and grab the legs of men that walk by (intellectual!)
- Go to a coffee shop and "accidentally" spill your coffee on men until you find the first one who doesn't get annoyed (kindhearted!)
- Conspicuously feed fun size Snickers bars to squirrels in the park. If a hot guy tells you this is not a great idea, bingo. (loves animals!)
- Trip in a cute but noticeable way and see who rushes to help you up. (a gentleman!) If no one rushes to help you up, roll around for a while until you find a taker.
- Scan any hospital waiting room for hotties. If he's waiting for a loved one (cares about his family!) or has a medical problem himself (vulnerable!) now is the time to seductively flip through some brochures until you catch his eye. Make sure the brochures or pamphlets are not "How to deal with V.D."
- If you're driving in your car and happen to spot some man candy walking along, slowly, but steadily drive your car up onto the sidewalk and initiate a chase. If he can run quickly for an extended period of time (works out!) he may be the one.
- Never leave the house without a loaded squirt gun. That way you can super soak any guys who look good and the ones who laugh and don't get upset or call the police have some potential. (sense of humor!)
- Hang out in the imported food section of the grocery store to seek out men of the world. If you see a guy buying anything that costs $7 or more (buys fancy food!), return to the patented leg-grabbing technique.
- Look for any man wearing a watch. Ask him what time it is. When he answers, say "What?" as if you didn't hear. Just keep saying "what?" each time he repeats the time. The man who doesn't just walk away is a potential dreamboat. (good communicator!)
- Go into any NICE restaurant in search of men. If you find one, challenge him with "I bet you can't eat the entire contents of that bread basket in under 30 seconds." The man who takes on this challenge is a real gem. (ambitious!)
- If you see any man reading a newspaper on his iPad (stays current!), once again, grab his legs. It just works.