Happy 2nd birthday!

Happy 2nd birthday!, originally uploaded by gymnfly1.

It was Emma's second birthday on the 11th. I realize how fast things go every year. She has indeed reached the terrible two's where she refuses to pee on the potty, not eat her veggies and climb all over the furniture- yet, I am enjoying every second of it because I know that her third will come even sooner than the second.
I have to remind myself to book some botox soon- at this rate anyhow

Boo!

Boo!, originally uploaded by gymnfly1.

HA, I always thought that I looked absolutley fabulous as a midget with big boobs!
This is how cool my job is- not only do I get to teach kids gym, but I also get to be one as well!

True Friends

I have met people over the last few months that have blown my mind. They are really incredible people. Some are completly nuts and I think they just may have lost there marbles, some are the sweetest and kindest of people imaginable and some just have the word FUN stapled to there forheads. Through this past school year I have been in awe because people have been so supportive and encouraging- I have been shown what real frienships mean and stand for. Whether it be spending a evening playing poker and having good laughs, trying to move a over weight piano and have things not go according to plan, getting picked on at work, getting taught spanish even if I am indeed hopeless at it, having a shoulder to cry on or just being able to vent to a person- all these things and more have meant more to me- it is nice to beable to trust such a wide circle of people and know that they will indeed be a friend.

So what is it about objects that are fun to jump on?

Banff is FUn, originally uploaded by gymnfly1.

Recently at Banff, I had a chance to corrupt the Banff Springs Hotel by climbing on every visible peice of equiptment possible. Anyways, it was all fun, I should def do it again soon...

Beauty Fades, but Dumb is Forever

Beauty.
A recent conversation of such started turning the crank. What is it exactly? What defines beauty or makes one "beautiful". I ponder more now than ever my own definition. Do I look through the eyes of social context and attempt to grasp their understanding of physical attributes? Or, do I scrutinize and try to understand the more submerged mien?
It's easy to critisize from societys frame of reference. Tangible beauty is usually viewed and commented to be a important factor. It is, after all, the first distinguishment that we make. Their physique, facial features, skin color, hair, physical styIe and outward presentation - all of that is a deciding factor for determining if someone is beautiful. If one holds no fragment of material attraction and fails to meet with the status quo of society - often they are disregarded leaving behind nothing but a reliance on wit and inginuity.
But what about the inner self? Does that not too exemplify beauty as well? Does is not have any contribution? I have learned that long ago- physical beauty is exaggerated and overemphasized on. Yet, some people cannot simply get past the physical realm. I sometimes of course am guitly of that but who isn't? We are all biased persons and it's in our nature (or perhaps a nurtured matter) to do so. Initially, we are unable to reach out to further exploration, inept to close the palpable door and open a more profound and mattersome entry. We all crave to have that sexy, alluring and pulchritudinous partner- but once you have that person- is it really what you wanted in the first place? Do they have more than their physical beauty to sustain themselves? One can not perpetuate physical beauty forever so there has to be something more to contribute.
Personality, intellegence,ones demeanor, etc. This all plays a important part of beauty as well. Take for instance, upon meeting someone, they are georgeous and the perfect figmant your imagination could have ever conjured up. But, after conversing and learning about them you find that they may lack all of those internal features that perhaps came second to you. Now, is that person truly as appealing as intially thought? Physical appeal last only for such a length and when one has no heart or spirit- what else have they to offer? Some yes only seek to find this physical beauty and disregard all else,but for the rest of society who seek perhaps happiness and longevity, we usually are able to seek out those whose beauty is truly relevent, felicitous, and compliments not only them but ourselves as well.

Male Nurse Please

So I did my good deed today. I donated blood. For some reason I feel good about letting a pack of blood hungry nurses (mostly male I might add!) come at me with a syringe and tubies and I feel no pain when they poke and prod for there 30 minutes. It’s the Heme test they do at the beginning that gets to me though. I flinch and whine like a big baby. Of course, since I'm such a regular (I go every time and its usually the same team that comes down), they tease me like mad. I have a hard time passing that test- it’s usually a 50/50 chance. I am usually extremely low or plump and ready to go. Anyhow, I go in and get ready to give and everything is going smoothly. I am number 16 and it only takes about 15 minutes before I go in for questioning. They ask the funniest questions!
Have you ever had sex...
Have you ever had sex with a man who has sex with another man?
Have you ever had sex with someone who has HIV?
Do you have HIV? (No, im here for my bi monthly HIV test-DUH!)
I mean... half these questions where a little bizarre. I can understand the HIV one but who honestly has sex with someone knowing that there partner has HIV? Or what straight man is actually going to admit he has had a rendezvous with another man? Anyways, questioning I get through. Now, for the BP and temp test. First time.
I’m dead.
BP is 90/23.
Second time.
Still dead.
BP is 40/20.
Fix the damn machine!
Finally, she gets a reading of 105/65- finally. I place my "use my blood" sticker on the sheet and off I go to the Vampires. I choose the left and find myself a nice comfy looking pool lounge chair. Nursy puts on the cuff, asks me to squeeze once and out pops the good ol cephalic vein. It has been through this many times before (it even has a permanent puncture scar to boot!) so it knows its job. "JUICY". Yes, she actually said juicy then elaborated with "you have great veins". I look at her like she’s on crack. Whatever lady. She cleans with alcohol and takes the icky iodine out and starts coloring my arm. I swear she though she was Van Gogh the way she went about it. Anyhow, out comes the syringe, I peak away and its in like butter. Now realize that I am the worse bleeder. It usually takes me about 30 minutes to do a pint. So after 2 people get in and out my bag by then is usually full. For some reason I always get shit for taking so long. Its not as if I do it deliberately. If one of them wants to sit and have a little chat with my ticker and tell it to pump faster and harder to get the bloody (no pun intended) stuff out - be my guest... It's usually one of these two things...
"You’re not squeezing!" (But I always squeeze) or " Your still HERE!?!?!?"
No, I am a figment of your imagination. Of course I’m still here. Anyhow, I fill up and along she comes. Yes, I get a woman this time. I knew I should have gotten a guy cause the damn nurse decides she is going to pull off the BP cuff and try and to take the frigan needle with it. OUch. Yes, it hurt. The male nurse cringed and I swore under my breath. She apologized. Well, to make matters worse - the male nurse who witnessed it all comes at me before I leave with a role of purple horse tape to tape up my entire elbow. I am the only one in the whole place with a huge purple bandage around my arm. I look like a freak. He says its so I don’t hemorrhage under the skin. I am told to wear this thing for 12 hours. YEah Right! It came off as soon as I hit the car. Anyways, I will not let that little savage Vampire come at me again... I'll remove it myself next time. Anyways, at least I got a free timbit out of the deal.
A little hint for next time perhaps,
"wear a string of garlic to ward off the evil ones"

I think it needs a comment....

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Moving Forward

Regret. Its a powerful thing. Makes you think twice of what should or could have been. I hold regrets of course but constant reminder is never dwelled upon. I enjoy not regretting for two reasons - it brings up the past and the past should stay behind you. The second reason- it only make you feel like total and utter shit. I don't know about anyone else but I certainly hate feeling like that. Whenever I feel regret creeping upon me I tend to surround myself with what makes me happy- call it avoidance but I think it isn't nessesary in life. Yes, it makes one think of what should have been but I believe in looking forward- not backward- like I have discussed many times before- you control what happens in life- take responsibility... then perhaps that will lessen regret.

A placebo please

It is 10 in the morning. I have rollers in my hair and I am wondering around in my bathrobe with 2 different colors of sox with a can of peaches in hand and a fork (god forbid I dirty any dishes). How did I manage to get myself into this state. Well I had to watch a movie by myself last night and insomnia loomed over me for a good 3 hours after that then I decided that I was going to read a entire book as well. I didn't get to sleep until about 4 this morning. Classes are almost finished so I am allowed to sleep in- that is until I hear a certain someone playing with the door stopper and all I hear in a "BOINGGGGGGGG" every 5seconds. I don't mind really. I just should take some sleeping pills before bed so I'm not so unpleasent in the AM... speaking of which....Did I also mention I have morphed into a pill popping tyrant? Actually, I better explain that one before anyone thinks inappropriatly of me. It started with a multi vitamin and the regular "Pill"... now, mornings consist of that plus a energin, detox, and 3 B6B12. I guess I am taking this new diet to an extreme. It's nice because I have had these sitting in my cupboard for god knows how long (yet not long enough to expire) and I am finally putting them to use. I have felt no difference cause this is Day 2. Maybe they are just a placebo and a mere figmant of my imagination just to make me more "mentally alert". Half the time I wonder about medications and if they really do what they indeed are supposed to. Take advil. half the time it doesn't work. I don't take it often at all so there is no built up immunity to it (can you build a immunity to that anyways?)... and what about those psychiatric medications? Do they really affect people or is it all just a mental circus show to reveal just how powerful the mind is? Either way, I guess the world will never know because if that be the case then the pharmacy industry would go down the drain.

I should direct the next one

Why is it that lately movies at the video store suck ass. Seriously. I rented "Before Sunset"- dumbest movie ever... Or "Inigma of Loch Ness".. which we won't even go there. I also rented "When will I be Loved" with Neve Cambell - again, where these people who wrote,directed, and released it on crack? There is little thought or effort put into movies. No intrigue. No passion. I saw Vanity Fair last night. It was mediocre... I have always enjoyed Reese Witherspoon though so I guess I base on bias. I have yet to see a few of them yet still. I refuse to watch "SAW" because the box alone gave me nightmares. Sorry, that one is not for me. I also have not seen Ladder 49 or Alien Vr. Predator...so I still have a few watches to judge. I did however see a good flick at the box office last week. HOSTAGE. That was a excellent movie I must say. Bruce Willis is dynamite in that one. But still- must I go through 10 horrible watches before being able to see another great movie???

Change of Plans

So this last month has flown by. I have not accomplished anything really amazing- yet I have made some final decisions that will impact my life enormously (I have decided moving to Lethbridge is best and that I am indeedly starting a new "healthier Lifestyle"). I am quite excited about these decisions and to be frank scared to death of both.
Moving to Lethbridge means total indedependence. No more people to rely on but myself. It will be a great time of growth perhaps and a realization that I am infact more independent than I thought I was. School will be fun. I am looking forward to the program. I only have 3 years left then I am finished. I have not decided if I will go for my PHD mind you I know that placing a "DR" infront of my name has always been a family dream (but this is for me not them)...
In a way, now that I really have thought and talked about it with my "family" I am scared. I thought all this weekend about it when I was driving up there. Where would I live? I don't know anyone but a handful of people there. In a sense moving to Massachusetts would have made more sense - but as my very own mother put it - I need this. I need to breakaway.

As for my new healthier life style- it started on Tuesday. I kicked the low carb diet to the curb and am now on a "canada food guide" edition (don't get me wrong- I am still going to watch my carbs just not to where the extent I was)- I am frighted to death honestly of gaining. I know it will happen but someone made me realize that my health now and in the future is more important than anything and that I was/am driving everyone nuts around me when it came to my Diet Frenzies. Oh, that reminds me- I forgot to take my vitamin today... damn....

Blogger Break

I have thought about what to write for quite a while now. I got nothing. Im not about to spill my deepest thoughts out- certainly not now - those who need to here them have heard them. I could talk about the gym or my life- but I think I have done that enough. I think as of now I am on a blogger break for a bit- at least for a week.

Running from Smelly Runners

I was in Lethbridge over the weekend for the Moonlight run. I didn’t run. I held the door for about 1500 people. I found it quite funny out of all those people- I counted- I got 12 thank you’s! Only 12. People these days lack manners. Anyways, I am glad I didn’t run. 2 reasons. The damn hill was over 1.5 km long and you had to run down and up. I would have either skidded my lip going down or tried to piggy back all of the runners on the way up. And the other reason was because I wouldn’t have been able to move at all the next day. I did however get some shopping done. I also got to jot down some potential apartments as well seeing as I am 8 chances out of 10 going to be living there next year ( I am still not 100% though- so no taking my word yet!). Anyways, it was a interesting weekend to say the least. The best part I think was seeing the small group under the "Unemployment Building" sharing a bottle of cheap beer. A pet peeve I have of the city is that not one intersection seems to have light sensors so you are sitting at the set of lights at 1 in the AM waiting for it to change. You can't run through because right in front of you sits a police station. That was fun. It's a alright city I guess. I think I may be displaying some prejudice because it's not Medicine Hat aka Home. It does have a fun mall though and a cosco - so I was stoked about that (Im such a consumer in that aspect). Anyways, I am heading down there again at the beginning of April so maybe this time I will be able to check out the Campus.

Outward and Forward

Literally, I am a walking contradiction. I do it all the time. In my writing. In my own thoughts. Logical conversation. But I know what I want and I know what I am trying to say- usually. Lately though things have been a jumbled mess. In a sense- I almost need to go on a hiatus. I have been negligent in a lot of things lately and I finally realize that I need to straighted things out once again. So, I will start.

#1- I need to be more attentive to my loved ones- whether it be paying more attention to them or their little hints or perhaps giving space when needed
#2 - I need to stop procrastinating so damn much and do what needs to be done
#3- I seriously need to chill - I have been on this over-reactive rampage lately and for those of you whom already know this- I apologize - I realize this now and I wouldn't blame anyone but myself if any consequences where to be projected on me
#4- I need to stop caring what others think of me and just "BE"- to hell with all these social mores - I quit!
#5- I need to take a closer look at what I really need and want and whats best for me and my situation

All of these yes are very abstract, some not so much, perhaps it is truly a time needed for reflection. I have been doing that a lot lately. Questioning things, not really understanding some things, wonderning what real purpose there is in some of the things I am doing....
I need a vacation. Yes.

Decisions, Decisions

So, Im still in limbo about where I want to be come September. Part of me wants Lethbridge but another part is leaning toward Massachusetts. I have no clue. I have sat and pondered the thought for months now. So, I decided that I’m going to make a chart.

LETHBRIDGE....... MASSACHUSETTS
School................School
Friends...............Family
Job.....................Ocean? (lol, that’s a plus)
Less consulate... Away from hassels
problems
No car imports

NEGATIVES
No family............No friends
No ocean............Consulate problems
Wind...................Ghetto neighborhood
Moving................Moving
.......................... No job
I’d prob never come back if I went............

I could probaly think of more... I just dont want to at the moment... It give me a headache......

Definition from a womans point of view

I dont understand how society came about doing this - but it has managed to give one word like 8 different meanings. Im talking in reference to love. I suppose you have to consider the source it is coming from. When a woman is asked to determine what love is - we spout of various meanings and values that it holds. Men, on the other hand - run. That's right. You mention the word and the leave in a flash. What is it that they percieve the word to be? Why- or how have men come to the conclusion that love is a scary thing. Well, I think it's all in how they percieve it. For instance, women often see love in two lights (my own opinion really). The first is the act of feeling love. The second is being "in love". Feeling love is less complicated than being in love is. Loving someone can simply mean caring, wondering, worrying, having that warm sensation when you are around them, respecting them, telling them what they may need to hear even if they don't want to hear it, trust, never doing anything that would hurt the other person, consideration, etc, etc- the list goes on. But being in love- that is what I think men are afraid of. Being in love means commitment. It means that- hey- you are right for me. Being in love is much more complex. Men hate complex details. This is why they run. They need to realize that love comes in many forms from a female perspective and that perhaps looking at what level of love their partner is at - perhaps that 4 letter word is not so scary.
(for you Lana)

So , I am this kind of dating material eh???

I'm still cracking up over this - but I do see a little truth in it

If you are dating a taurus, understand that this person is a one-woman man or a one-man woman (unless Gemini predominates elsewhere in the natal chart). Primarily interested in security, this being is looking to settle down and doesn't need a lot of movement. Preferring routine activities and traditional, established pleasures, this person is happy to continue on with whatever he or she has been doing for years. You will need to be able to fit somewhat into this already settled routine.

You will attract his or her attention by giving gifts of quality; ticky-tacky is a turnoff for these practical souls. Known for their good taste, you will be more interesting to this being if you value yourself. Paying attention to your clothing and hair will help to show him or her that you understand the importance of appearance. Taureans love to stay home and get cozy in their nests. Their idea of a good time is to rent a bunch of videos and veg out on the couch or in the easy chair. They also enjoy gourmet foods and fine wines and will often have highly developed culinary abilities. These souls can definitely be won over through their stomachs, so dig up your best recipes and give it a try. They do, however, sometimes resemble their animal, the bull, in that they cannot be pushed; you will see some real digging in if you try. Gentle persuasion is a much better tool with these people. You also should be aware that, in general, they often need to ponder each word that you speak before being able to give you an answer. Allowing these souls a moment to think before expecting a response will result in a much happier relationship.

Taureans also have a real need for security; you won't make points by squandering assets or avoiding saving. These beings need to have a home base which belongs to them and where they know they can retreat to in times of trouble. A nest egg for rainy days is also an essential here.

.... Officially, the worlds longest blog entry...

-first grade teacher's name: am i supposed to remember that?
-last word you said: hahaha
-last song you sang: True - ryan cabrera
-last thing you laughed at: um, trevor calling himself a re-re
-last time you cried: Girls cry?... lol.... today
.PRESENT.
-what's in your cd player: I dont use one - but if i did - a mixed Cd
-what color socks are you wearing: I'm not wearing socks
-what's under your bed: um, a broke part of my bed, prob some toys and some books from last semester maybe -and perhaps the last man that pissed me off... lol IM JK!
-what time did you wake up today: um, like 7:30, no 8, i cant remember
.FUTURE.
-what is your career going to be: A gymnastics coach, a psychologist...
-where are you going to live: um by the looks of things, lethbridge...but long term - i have no clue
-what kind of car will you drive: Lol, anything that is fun, reliable and doesnt emitt harmful gases into our biosphere!
.CURRENT.
-current hair: medium, fluffy, reddish brown
-current clothes: My underwear
-current jewelry: silver hoop earrings, my R initial
-current annoyance: work, school
-current smell: mmm... *sniffs*... cool water and echo by Daridoff - the usuall
-current longing: sleep and a vacation, and my BF
-current desktop picture:it changes every 5 minutes, the Mac versions
-current favorite music artist: I don't even know. I can't pick one.
-current book: The gift of Fear
-current worry: school, and future events
-current hate: my inablity to concentrate today (which is often)
-current favorite article of clothing: La Senza bra, cami and my laces and a cami
-line from the last thing you wrote to someone: um, bye bye
-i am happiest when: everything falls into place and ppl are actually on the same page as I - and - when I have no worries...
-favorite authors: I don't know, I'm undecided. maybe the dude who wrote mars and venus
-do you think too much: Yeah, I over think things. I think it is a problem sometimes cause I over analyze and throw things out of proportion
-if you could live anywhere in the world, where: Um, anywhere hot and cool at the same time with a thermostat control and of course by a beach and some mountains... lol
-famous person you have met: um, svetlana boginskya, Yelena Zamalichikova (spelling?), Kylie Stone?, Kyle Shewfelt?, all gymnasts
-sex or love: mmm.. thats a tough one...cant it be both?... even though both is sometimes not possible
-favorite coffee: black with some sugar containing aspertane
-favorite smell: the ones i can smell right now, and chlorine (i know, its weird)
-Annoyance: dishonesty, not being upfront epspecially when i know they are not... that really gets my panties in a twist
-what is your best quality: I have no idea-- I guess that I'm overly honest, I always give ppl the benifit of the doubt even when I know maybe I shouldn't, I can be very understanding
-are in currently in love/lust: there are many levels of love... and yes
-what's the craziest thing you have ever done: oh gosh, i gotta think
-any bad habits: f*ing with my cuticles to the point where they bleed... not wearing socks.. biting my nails and ranting on when Im drunk
-do you find it hard to trust people: No, I'm too trusting most of the time.
-last thing you bought yourself: gas, phone, food
-bath or shower: Both - depends really
-favorite season:June - I like that month and september cause its beautiful
-favorite color: grey blue, purple, soft pink, ... i dont know... there's too many to choose from
-favorite time of day: that moment just before you close your eyes
-gold or silver: titamium and Platinum
-any secret crushes: yes (but he knows im crazy about him)
.FASHION.
-how many coats and jackets do you own: Like, eight?
-favorite pants color: jeans
-most expensive item of clothing: A dress I bought (actually a few)
-most treasured: My r initial and a sea shell
.YOUR FRIENDS.
-do your friends know you: Very few of my friends really -know- me, although I appear to be very transperent.
-what do they tend to be like: Fun, outgoing, trustworthy for the most part
-can you count on them: some of them
-can they count on you: yes, of course, thats what makes us friends isnt it?
.LAST.
-last book you read: mars and venus dating
-last movie you saw: Seabiscuit
-last movie you saw on the big screen: hitch
-last show you watched on tv: um, lol.. american Idol?
-last song you heard: lol.. now, its don't by Shania Twain
-last thing you had to drink: H2O
-last thing you ate: Eggs this afternoon
-last time you showered: 5 minutes ago
-last time you smiled: today
-last time you laughed: this afternoon, when being tickled
-last person you hugged: this afternoon, a truly great hug,... I think its time for one of those
-last person you kissed: Mike
-last person you talked to online: John
-last person you talked to on the phone: mom
.DO YOU.
-smoke: no
-do drugs: no
-drink: sometimes
-sleep with stuffed animals: as much as I hate to admit it, occasionally, yes.
-have a dream that keeps coming back: a couple
-play an instrument: piano...I used to play sax ( can you picture that?) and I used to play the violin for like 2 years
-believe there is life on other planets: maybe - sure- why not?
-read the newspaper: If I get it for free - somtimes online
-have any gay or lesbian friends: yes and siblings too
-believe in miracles: sure
-consider yourself tolerant: I put up with a lot of shit sometimes
-consider police a friend or foe: I've never had a problem with the police - until - they gave me a ticket
-like the taste of alchohol: if I am drunk heck yes!
-have a favorite stooge: curly
-believe in astrology: not so much - but I will read my horoscope once in a while
-believe in magic: sure
-pray: not really... maybe
-go to church: no
-have any secrets: plenty
-have any pets: Kosmo my fish
-go or plan to attened college: I am attending and will be prob attending U of L next year
-talk to strangers: to often, and usually they initate conversation.
-have any piercings: just the ears, I used to have the belly done
-have any tattoos: I will before this year ends. I swear it.
-hate yourself: I like me.
-wish on stars: Sometimes I do
-like your handwriting: not really, it's readable, but not fantastic
-believe in witches: nah
-believe in ghosts: yes - I swear I had one in my room last week - ask me about it - scared the shit outta me
-believe in santa: lol, are you fucking kidding me?.. oops... did I just violate my own belief?
-believe in the easter bunny: get out of here, what am I, seven?
-believe in the tooth fairy: His name is Doctor Kirshaw, and he took my teeth AND my money.
-have a second family: I don't know if I'd call them family, but they're a part of me, sure.
-trust others easily: I'm too trusting, you asked this already
-sing in the shower: Yes, and I like it and my neighbors can't stand it..


Layers.... I dont know.. I just cut and pasted the damn thing.--
Name: Becca
-- Birthdate: April 30, 1982
-- Birthplace: Medicine Hat
-- Current Location: Same place
-- Eye Color: blue-grey
-- Hair Color: Auburn
-- Height: 5'6 and a bit
-- Righty or Lefty: righty yet try to be a lefty
LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: lol.. wow... ok, here goes dutch, german, french, I know there is more... its rediculous i cant remember
-- Your weakness: too trusting at points, I fall to easy (seriously- i have the balance of a 2 year old when not on a 4 inch plank)
-- Your fears: being too far away from shore to swim back, lol... no... i dunno, big bugs, bees, wind (tornados), men are scary sometimes, falling for someone who wont fall for you maybe
-- Your perfect pizza: Oh how i hate atkins at this point... veg with cheese and cheese, pepper, tomato, mushroom, pinapple
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Awsome coach, great mom, lol.. a degree eventually, live happily ever after with prince charming
LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase(s) on MSN: Lol and ack, WTF,noooooo, we're fighting!
-- Your thoughts first waking up: snooze button??? and what i have to do that day
-- Your best physical feature: um, I dunno, eyes maybe? i like to think my butts in the ok field.. you tell me?
-- Your bedtime: now (snore)... lol.. whenever I permit
-- Your most missed memory: that’s a stupid question. Think about that.
LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: Coke...?
--Macdonalds or BK: um, subway
-- Single or group dates: um , i like both... but a little personal quality time is always nice
-- Adidas or Nike: neither - im too cheap
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don’t drink either. crystal lite
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla with a lil choc
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee
LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: no
-- Cuss: I hate too - its not ladylike but sometimes madatory
-- Sing: yes - when no one can hear me
-- Take a shower every day: Yes
-- Have a crush(es): Yes
-- Do you think you've been in love: Oh yes. I don’t think there has been a point in my post-12 year old life when I wasn’t convinced I loved someone.... lol.. but honestly in love? well.. thats a tough one... i almost married someone - until I reevaluated the situation... so now i have confused me cause there are too many definitions of love
-- Want to go to college: Been there, am there, leaving soon to upgrade
-- Like high school: hated it
-- Want to get married: one day, provided I learn the fine art of comprimise and find that right person
-- Believe in yourself: Sure!
-- Get motion sickness: when you spin me very fast
-- Think you're attractive: Sure - sometimes- when im not hungover and tired
-- Think you're a health freak: maybe too much... i think i am
-- Get along with your parents: occasionally
-- Like thunderstorms: yeah, when its not windy and when there is someone to jump onto if I get scared
LAYER SIX:
In the past month . . .
-- Drank alcohol: yes
-- Smoked: no
-- Had sex: yes
-- Made out:yes
-- Gone on a date: yes
-- Gone to the mall: yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: god no!
-- Eaten sushi: Ew
-- Been on stage: yes
-- Been dumped: no
-- Gone skating: no... which sucks. I wanna go ice skating!
-- Shoplifted: never
-- Changed who you were to fit in: no
LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: um... that’s not really an age to plan for.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: lol.. well.. right now Im content with one... maybe later... i dunno...
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: go away and do it on a vacation ( that being married and other activities of course)
-- How do you want to die: what kind of f*ing question is that!!!!
-- Where you want to go to college: we have been through this...
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: grow up?... i shall never!
-- What country would you most like to re/visit: irland would be cool, egypt would be dirty but fun, and somewhere in S.america would be fun
LAYER NINE:
In a guy . . .
-- Best eye color: blue, hazel
-- Best hair color: unimportant
-- Short or long hair: long enough for me to run fingers through
-- Height: not important.. perhaps taller than i?
-- Best weight: not ginormous
-- Best articles of clothing: the ones they’re not wearing (he he!)... lol.. Im jk!
-- Best first date location: something fun where both can relax and not worry
-- Best first kiss location: mmm.. tough call.. mouth? neck?, cheek is sweet
LAYER TEN:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: no thanks=0
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: 1 - no 2
-- Number of CDs that I own: a bajillion
-- Number of piercings: 2
-- Number of tattoos: 0
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: quite a few
-- Number of scars on my body: Gross! I’m not counting my scars!
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: 3-- no no... four. then there are the little things that are unimportant, or forgiven.

A - Act your age - That only depends on what you think a 23 year old should act like.

B – Boyfriend- yes

C - Chore you hate - If it's a chore, I hate it. Trust me.

D - Dad's name - Jan

E - Essential makeup item - Mascara, lip gloss

F - Favorite actress - Toss-up: I dont care as long as its a good job acting

G - Greatest Achievement- Emma, gymnastics, life

H – Hometown -Medicine hat

I - Instruments you play - piano... again..

J - Job title - gymnastics coach

K – Kids - one!!

L - Living arrangements -With emma , and whom ever stays over on the weekends

M - Mom's name - Marguerite

N - Number of people you've slept with - I shall not disclose... SHEESH.. get peronal why dont you

O - Overnight hospital stays - 2 - tonsils and emma

P – Phobia - Spiders, bees

Q - Quote you like - "Everything in life is either done because of love, or the lack there of." , and "We're fighting!"

R - Religious affiliation - None

S – Siblings - too many

T - Time you wake up - The alarm goes off at six.....

U - Unique habit: oh I have a bad brushing teeth habit, I always have my phone, i never leave the house without chapstick or lip balm, i always check my email way to frequently, and I leave the laundry basket in the laundry room

V - Vegetable you refuse to eat - Okra

W - Worst habit- Giving too much of a shit what other people think

X - X-rays you've had -mouth(teeth), ankle like a zillion times, hand, shoulder, a bone scan once

Y - Yummy food you make - Everything except cookies from scratch. I used to be able to make chocolate chip cookies in my sleep, but I haven't baked anything from scratch in such a long time that I've forgotten the recipie.

Z - Zodiac Sign - taurus

This should be interesting.....Im curious... please enlighten me... lol.. you guys know my email...
1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I lovable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your blog/diary and see what I say about you?

While my boyfriend is busy soaking up the sun in Mexico I am stuck here in Medicine Hat wallowing in self pity. Actually - this is good for me. It has given me a chance to see just how crazy I am about this person. You know what they say - absensce makes the heart grow fonder. This week is going to be crazy. Among the load full of homework I have, I also have to try to prepare 3 of my gymnasts for the biggest meet of there lives so far. They are all stressing out about it but I am staying pretty calm so far. I actually get to judge on Friday so I am getting excited about that.
Emma is as sick as a dog. Over the last couple of days she has practiced the art of throwing up in various places. I have mastered the skill of not getting any of her vomit on her while she does this. Just tilt. On a brighter note, she did learn another word this week. She up and pointed to my boyfriends picture and said his name. Without a lisp! My kid is amazing... either that or she just has really good taste ( that was meant to be a compliment). Anyways, I promised myself this week I would write something insightfull. Im much to tired to do so at the moment so I think crashing is a great option. So until later this week, I will depart.

Becca Curlz Me

Becca Curlz Me, originally uploaded by gymnfly1.

So, there they are. Clear as day for the whole world to see. Well, its been 2.5 weeks and I can kinda eat a little less alien like and talking is getting well... I still have a "oh-so-subtle-lisp" but as one of my friends says.. "you brought this upon yourself" so I guess Im gonna have to stop with the weird smiles and stop trying to hide the fact that I now eat like a 2 year old and just go with it. Ah, well, I just have to think of the outcome... So, I am going to be alone for the next 12 days. Well, not alone cause I have Mini Me (which will be great!) but my sig. other has jetted outta town for spring break and I am here all by myself... I have been pouting about it since before he left... guess you can't help but miss the ones you care about. Anyways, so I think I will get a whole wack load of studying done this week (which I do need) and perhaps take advantage of sleeping in. I am thinking on my days off I am going to have to induldge in a little ladies night out with the girls (AMY?) and perhaps a little drinkage of alchoholic beverages... yes... I think I may need that. Well, new years resolution is going good. I am being nice to ppl, but, as for the weight loss thing... I am still at my regular... gosh, I think Valentines Day really set me back! Did I mention Valentines Day?... I think I may have to tell you just how wonderful things where in my next blog...

Do I love Valentines DAY?

I used to love it. Now, I hold no expectations. I think Valetines day has become too commercialized. It now is just another Hallmark Holiday. No real thought or expression (except for maybe what's in the card) is really put into it anymore. I think people miss the real meaning of it now. There is this great expectation that something has to be done we get frustrated and forget why we celebrate the 14th of February. Me personally, I know I don't need a special day dictating to me that I need to show the person I am with how I feel. I think everyday is a little expression of that. But I will say in its defense that it is nice to look forward and plan something out of the norm and go out of your way for that special someone to show how you feel on a certain day. Anyways, I think I am a little excited to show that person how I feel (like he doesn't already know though) on Valentines Day... So excited in fact I bought the card 3 weeks ago... And it's a Carlton not Hallmark....
To be continued...

To the above picture..

. well, there was this amazing dinner out at the base the past weekend so I got to get all dressed up and be escorted by the most handsom man out there... It was a blast. Everyone looked stunning, my date (also known as my BF) was a perfect gentleman and even though I lisped and studdered and ate like a 3 year old... not one person poked too much fun at me... anyhow, it was a perfect evening...On another note... Valentines day is coming up... boy do I have a blog to write about that... but that will just have to wait until tomorrow when its not 2 in the am and Im not falling asleep..

Brace Face

I have 30 minutes left of normal mouth. I am so scared that I'm gonna look like metal woman by the end of my dentist appointment. I am though looking forward to getting them on because I have wanted this for soooooo long. What made me decide to do it? Actaully, its a combination of things. People in Junior High are mean, my brother got perfect teeth and I totally missed the boat on that one, and I have really always wanted to get them fixed. I guess its's like any other cosmetic procedure. Why do woman get inplants or tummy tucks? ... To be OH SO PRETTY... lol.. because they want to of course. I agree with people are there own worse critic- they have to be cause what else would we complain about??? I guess that's a shallow way of putting it. Anyways, I am going to buy someithing to eat so I can totally gross out my dentist when he opens my mouth. And people wonder why they have the highest suicide rates! I am so mean.

A couple of things

So apparently I get really bad test anxiety. I hate it. I have this really bad habit of cramming and then I start to forget everything I am cramming. Then 5 minutes before the test miraculously my brain decided to open its brain waves and lets me memorize which gives me about 5 whole minutes to rationalize which material should go in and which isn't that vitally important. Annoying to say the least.

So another annoying concept. Actually, it's more of a theory. I went to the dentist (by this I mean my orthodontist) and got my wire fixed. Not a week later and the damn thing is once again invade the sides of my cheeks. Apparently someone over in that bloody place has no clue about the meaning of alignment and proper wire technique. So I am faced with having to put wax ( yes wax) in my bloody mouth until I find time to go to the dentist/ortho guy and get it fixed. Honestly, can't people get it right the first time?!?!

I think maybe its just this week but I think a bitch fest(that or a hiatus) is much needed. Reading week is coming up and I will be forced to spend it all by my self. BOO. That really sucks. Actually, I will have little one with me so it won't be too bad and I have the Cactus Classic coming up that I am judging at so that will take a little of my spare time up. Actually, this might be a great time to relax and " reflect" (HA!) on my dispositions and thoughts)
well, enough said for today. I think its time for that Hiatus.

Somewhat of a relevation...Or just a mass of confusion.

Drama Drama Drama. Why is it that the human race has to create so much of it? I recently was thinking how brilliant it would be if there was just less of it. Relationships would flourish, optomism would increase and people in general would just be happier. Yes there are certain books on how to minimize ones dramatic ordeals and how to cope with certain situations - but who in gods names actually reads those? Not I that's for certain. Well, that is somewhat of a lie. I tried once to read "Men are from Mars... " I got to the second chapter and was so sick of the martian vrs. venetian crap I almost chucked. Men and woman are the same with the exception of a penis, some boobs and hormones. We think the same. We just have this preconcieved notion that we are different and thats what causes the drama. I say it is all reasoned insanity. We have all lost our minds completely and have accepted todays norms with open arms and in all sense are willing to accept anything that isn't the way of our culture.
Lets take for example eating out. He asks what she feels like. She says subway and he secretly prays for Macdonalds. Now does she really want subway or is that a attempt to follow the norms of society and jump on the band wagon of dieters just so she can say she is in the loop or.. does she really want to say to hell with it and scarf down that delicious bacon double cheeseburger and a supersize fry with a non-diet coke? Yes a Non Diet coke. Heck YES!
I can sadly say I am one of these women. Well, not so much on the burger. It is the fact that society is the one that creates the tension just so we can indeedly conform with the rest of them just because Jarred says so. Well, to hell with Jarred. To hell with it. I am sick and tired of being dragged along with sociological norms and I put my foot down.

Get Off Your ASS!

Nothing irritates me more than seeing students using a backpack on wheels to tote around there belongings. What gets to me even more is that these students are the usually "larger" and by this I mean the usually obese students. It really gets my panties in a twist when I see this. I don't know if its just sheer laziness or the fact that they are able to afford the luggage because of their disability checks they receive in the mail. Either way. Yet another scenario. I was taking the elevator ( this is justifiable because my bag weighs about 30 lbs with all my books I tote around (without the wheels)and taking the stairs is just mean on my body... Anyhow, in walks twiggy with her pen. We ride up to the 3rd floor and exit the elevator. She is in front of me - with her pen and only her pen. She then proceeds to the doors, goes to open it, then decides that's too much work and presses the handicap door opener thing. I had to wait a extra 10 seconds because she was to damn impotent to open the door with her free hand. How lame was that - SO LAME!

The 5th food group- Caffine.

The group is derived from mainly empty sources of nutrition that have no signifigant value what-so-ever to ones dietery needs. It provides a jolt of energy when required. It is very comparable to a cold splash in the face or a stranger making an uninhibited decision to sit,naked, on a bench in the Castro district (if this doesn't wake you up then honey, NOTHING will).

It curbs the sugar craving without actually contributing to ones hip circumference (well, that's not scientifically correct but I shall declare the theory factual until otherwise proven).

You can whirl it together with pretty much anything. There are so many ways in which it can be consumed. In a mug, in dessert (careful, my theory now stands on a grossly thin sheet of ice), in its raw form, in MARSHMELLOWS?!?!?!?!?, etc, etc.....google it, you can find the many ways.

Apparently, you are less likely to suffer from Parkinson's. Another notch on the coolness belt.

When taken as an enema, it detoxifies the liver and cleanses the colon. Everyone wants a clean colon, right?

It can reduce post workout soreness by 48%. Shit you not .... Well, that's arguable considering the above statement.

One word STAMINA.

Anyhow, as addictive as it is, realize one thing. Without it, you simply may not be as fabulous. That's something you don't want to chance, correct?

Time for my cup of java.

Attack of my Stove

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKE!!!.... actually, when I look at the exact time its 11:42pm...so you have 18 minutes left of your 21 years. I love birthdays. I actually morphed into Suzie Homemaker this afternoon and made 2 ( yes two) cakes. One I made straight from the box and the other straight from scratch. Impressive I know. Only mistake was I was going to buy the icing in a jar tomorrow and make the scratch icing and put it on the homemade cake. Well, i mixed the two up and now I am going to have to put the bought icing on the homemade one. I refuse to make the icing again because I was attacked by my double boiler ( a pot within a pot) and burned my hand beautifully. It hurt like hell. I was a little upset and it was so sticky! Anyways, I hope he enjoys it - I have never recieved battle wonds like this cooking.. I guess there is a first for everything.

A Tribute to Mr. Dynamite

That was the greatest movie - EVER! I recently saw it a few days ago and was highly impressed with his SKILLS. I think it deserves a Golden Globe. No, an Oscar. If people don't understand or interpret the movie then they obviously do not have any common sense what so ever. The first time I saw it I thought it was completely useless. The second time around however, it was brilliant. It portrayed the inner thoughts of high school outcasts and how they really should handle their problems. Outspoken, direct and to the point. VOTE FOR PEDRO!!!!... and Do What Ever You Want To Do.... GOSH!!!

New Years... a new begining perhaps?

Another year - gone. Just like that. In a instant really. So, New years eve I contemplaited my wish and found one. It never came true. I don't think it ever will.
As for resolutions, I made a few. The 5 lb resolution is a given. Its always on the list.
As for the others, here goes.

1.To be the best mom
2. To be more upfront with people, let them know what and how I am feeling ( failing miserably so far)
3. To attain great grades this year
4. To see my grandma and family
5. To declare finally my intended major ( so far, this is a possibility of 4 or 5)
6. To be extraordinary
7. Move out of Medicine Hat by August ( dont know quite where)
8. Not stress out
9. Volunteer at at least 2 major functions this year
10. Do something nice for someone at least once a day ( that would entail 365 nice tasks)
11. Invent something

Some seam lame but I think its do-able.