THE CHARLIES - YELLOW (COVER): http://youtu.be/a7EgENrHlrs

Why is it stumbling upon the truth sucks.
Why cant it just stay hidden. Away. Where it cant hurt anybody.

Why is it my fucking intuition is always right.

I cannot have her look and see
Yet another bird flyaway from our tree

Into a box perhaps we should wait
For the right moment so her heart does not break

And reality smacks you in the face when worst case scenarios are presented and all the outcomes are led towards a fatality.

Im 10000 ft in the air  and
I am suffocating in this madness
And my eyes are open wide
Tears gather
Drowning in a shallow pool
Just to breathe would be a great accomplishment
Just.One.Fresh.Breathe.

Take a Fucking Hike

Its 5:39

I want to go hiking up the moutiain out my window. But it's too cold.

 I cannot seem to shake this feeling of uneasiness. Like something is about to happen and its going to have a huge impact.

I cant sleep. And the tears are pooling at the edges of my eye lids.

Positive thinking and the removal of negative thoughts seems to be a daunting task right now.

Sleep perhaps is needed....

Post Workout Bliss

Notice kaffi machine is at arms length...

ikea

sometimes a trip to Ikea can fix eVerything...ok...so obviously this isn't true however retail therapy at IKEA and lunch can make one feel much better.

Lies only Bring out The Sleeping Dragon

I am often an optomostic and positive person. I generally thrive off of this.

However...

I am a Taurus. When someone fucks with my life and career my head goes down and I charge at whatever may threaten.

I often put on a brave front and seem ruthless and unforgiving...

But when the battle goes dormant.... my heart bleeds and the tears stroll. I recover in time to restart the battle the next day.

I refuse to lose when I know Ive been wronged. When Im wrong - I gracefully admit it.

There are 2 people in my who are challenging me to battle right now. Little do they comprehend that I am one persistant bitch when I have to be.

Trapped

I was an extra in this little TV series here Iceland. It was a great opportunity and I had a blast. I also made a few new friends. I am hoping to get more involved in the future....

We shall see what happens.

Inferiority is a complex matter...

I put in my 3 months resignation yesterday.

Yes. I did it. 

Why?

Well the moment I started to doubt how good I really am at my career I realized that I was allowing others opinions who have no knowledge of the sport to affect my confidence. I was allowing naive and uneducated individuals words to have a profound effect on my person. I was essentially making myself inferior. 

This- is just not allowed.

I may continue to reside in Iceland. I will continue to coach gymnastics. I will continue to love life - I just am now on a different path. 

The glorious part is... the moment I sent that email resigning... a profound feeling of liberation washed over me and I went into work with such a weight off my shoulders. I know this was the right decision. 

On Set..Last Shoot:(

Last shoot with RVK. studios and the show Trapped!

I have so far been able to sleep for 2 hours on set and.I also managed to play and win 5 games of Olson.

I will be sad when this all ends as its been fabulous and the people are great!

Make a wish

No title needed...

I never want to hurt anyone.
I will sacrafice my own happiness just to be sure of this.

Even when someone you love hurts you beyond what you thought was ever possible.
I still do not want to hurt anyone.
I don't have the energy.

I will say this...

How people deal with hardships can have a starkingly clear indication of perhaps where their heart truly was the whole time.

... adding Salt.....

The moment when you actually feel the pain in your chest from seeing or hearing something that actually breaks your heart even more....

It's amazing how one 'like' on facebook can make you feel like you've been kicked in the stomach while you're down.

I deliberately went off of facebook so I could have some silence. And think. And then a 'friend' decides to text me about whos doing what... thanks for that 'friend'....